School can be a sad place to work sometimes. Particularly at this time of the year. Part of the brilliance of working in a school is that things are always changing, leading to new challenges and something new to focus on everyday. At the risk of sounding sentimental however, when the people change, it can be sad. This year lots of things have changed for me both professionally and personally. At the end of the year last year one of my good friends and colleagues left the school. It changed the dynamic at school and in our friendship circle but in a way became a blessing because I feel that I have had new opportunities that I may not have had if he was still at the school. At this time of the year the realisation also sets in that the students that you have spent the entire year nurturing through year 12 (and possibly through several years before it) are leaving the school and you are likely never to see them again. You form relationships in this job and invest yourself in the students and then they leave and you rarely hear from them again which is difficult but part of the job. I think that the hardest thing about this job is the high turnover of teachers. Even in our school which does not have a high staff turnover by comparison has teachers leaving every year. This year two staff members who have become quite good friends to me are leaving. It's going to make next year another very different year to this one. Less of the people I love to be around and more hard work. I have found this year that it has been very hard to tune out work when I am at work and to relax and have fun. It has become easier to make work time work time and not to worry too much about socialising during the day because I simply have not had the time nor opportunity to socialise. And I also find that I can't tune out. I can't be frivolous and stupid and crazy as easily as I used to because I feel like there is a heavier weight on my shoulders these days. I'm constantly thinking about what the next task is that I have to complete or who the next person is who needs a piece of me for whatever reason. I'm hoping that the heavy weight will subside now that I am on holidays and that I can endeavour to start next year so organised that I don't feel like my load is a heavy weight on my shoulders next year. I am happy to work hard, don't get me wrong. What I am not happy to do though is allow work to change me and to stop me from having fun and being light-hearted. The only way to do that I think is to be super-organised from the beginning of the year which will involve planning ALL my lessons for all three of my classes as well as writing, organising and timetabling as much of the Year 9 program as I can before we start. So I think that I am going to have to allow myself to have the 10 days of Thailand to myself (maybe just read the novels I will be teaching on the beach) and spend the rest of the hols planning. This still gives me a nice holiday but will hopefully give me the best start to the year possible. That way I can spend next year focussing on correction and helping students and dealing with the new problems that fall on my plate without having to deal with the every-days like planning for classes too. Of course this is fine in theory...now I just have to make it happen.