I think I have discovered in myself a new beginning. For two days this week I attended a leadership course for women. It is a three day course, with the third day in August and between now and then we have homework to do.
I think I sought out this leadership course for both a concious and an unconcious reason. Conciously: I have been running a team at school now for 2 1/2 Years and I have never had any formal leadership training to help me develop my skills. I am also hoping to continue taking on more responsibility within the school and this year, running all the Junior school (7-9) curriculum programs has certainly left me busier than I have ever been before, and dealing with more people than ever before. I believe in constantly learning and improving and I think I certainly have a long way to go in developing and working on my leadership skills.It was not until the second day of the course though that I started to really clarify why I had subconciously sought out leadership training. I think that this last year or so I have been searching. I have been feeling lost at school, not sure what the future holds for me and unsure how to deal with the uncertainty (I really don't deal well with uncertainty). When you don't know where your career is headed it makes it really difficult to set goals and to imagine yourself achieving them. I have been loving my job; don't get me wrong - to be challenged everyday is a satisfying thing to me and I feel that the more I am challenged the more I strive to achieve. The only problem is that I have been feeling that perhaps some of the things I am doing and the skills that I feel I have to offer are going unnoticed. Or not even that they are not noticed, but that they are not acknowledged.
Part of this course asks us to create our own philosophy of leadership. Kind of a mission statement to live by I guess and in brainstorming this idea, I started with what I think people deserve or expect from a leader.
This is what I came up with:
- compassion
- understanding
- to be heard
- to be trusted and to trust
- to be valued
- to be proud of their achievements
- to be treated with respect
Through discussion with others in the group I clarified and added that people want to be acknowledged and affirmed in their roles.
I realised that in making this list I had thought back to my first year of teaching and remembered the influence that one of my AP's had on me. The support, encouragement and affirmation that I got from this person was one of the fundamental building blocks of my confidence as a teacher. Having someone who celebrated my successes, gave me confidence to take on more and encouraged me to challenge myself further.
What is also obvious to me is what a difference it makes to someone when the support that they once had is no longer there. Not that I think this person has decided they no longer like me and no longer want to encourage me, but in taking on more responsibility themselves, this person has less time to spend reaffirming me and letting me know that I am doing a good job and that I am on the right track and this has left me a little bereft. The problem for me is that this person is the one who I answer to, the one who is in charge and without that reassurance from them that I am doing a good job and that I am appreciated I become concerned that I am just floating along and going no-where and that the things I am working towards don't necessarily have a place in the school's vision.
Understanding my own need for validation and affirmation has made me realise an important lesson in my own leadership. Constantly tell your staff that you appreciate what they are doing and celebrate the things they do well. Ensure your team has a vision and that everyone knows their role in the team to bring about change and thus ensure that everyone is on the same page and working towards the same goal. I don't see myself as an insecure person (in fact sometimes I think I am a little too sure of myself) but I think that all it would take for me to have a bit more confidence that I am in the right place and that I am doing a good job would be to hear it.
