I am sitting here tonight having just written two farewell speeches - one for the students, and one for the staff at school, because tomorrow is my last day. After tomorrow, when people ask me what I do for a living, I will no longer be able to give the one word answer, teacher, because I will no longer be one. I will no longer have to secretly lament the fact that when people find out I am a teacher they share with me how jealous they are of all of my holidays because now, whenever people find out I have left teaching, the first question they ask is how I am going to cope without aforementioned holidays. I will no longer see the smiling faces of my students, hear their sympathetic laughter when I crack a lame joke and get to vicariously experience their curiosity and excitement and the joy they find in the mundane. I will miss feeling like I am making a difference to young people and sharing their hopes and dreams. But it is time for a change.
I haven't written here for a while because I can only write honestly and I wasn't yet ready to share how I was feeling about the job I have been doing and loving for 7 1/2 years.
I still love teaching, don't get me wrong. And if I wanted to stay in teaching then this amazing school I have been calling my home for the past 2 years would be the only place I would want to be, but the fact of the matter is, I need a change. I came to this school because I was feeling unchallenged in my old school and feeling like I had more to give than I was given a chance to give. That all changed last year when I moved here because I was once again being challenged and engaged and valued and supported and nurtured. It turns out though, that it isn't enough. This year I have started wondering, despite my semi-charmed life at JMSS, what else is out there that I might be able to sink my teeth in to - what else might I be able to contribute, what other skills might I be able to build, how might I better myself and challenge myself and keep learning? I am the type of person who does not like to stay still for too long because I love to learn and I love to feel like I am constantly improving and growing.
So it is with sadness and excitement that I say goodbye tomorrow to over 400 students who have become like friends, and the best staff I have ever worked with. I am sad because I know what I am leaving behind, but glad that I am leaving with sadness because it means that I didn't wait too long - I didn't leave it until I was so ready to leave that I couldn't wait to just get the hell out. I don't know what the future holds for me and secondary teaching. My new job is still in education, but is more adult education focused and is a leadership and not a teaching position. I love the impact that you can have in a classroom and the relationships that you build and that moment when the lightbulb goes on in someone's eyes as they comprehend what it is they have been trying to learn. These are the elements of teaching I will pursue in my life outside of the classroom. All I know for sure is that in my pursuit of learning, this is yet another new beginning.
