Firstly I would like to say - "Thank goodness for best friends!" Then I think that I would like to explain what prompted the last blog that I posted. I guess I hadn't really thought about what this holiday to Queensland would be like or what it would mean to me. I just planned it (sort of last minute as I tend to do) and got on the plane to come up here, without much of a preconceived idea of what I expected or of what I would get out of the trip. I guess I just thought that this holiday would be like any other that I had spent up here. I would get to spend some quality time with my best friend, catching up on gossip and talking about the last couple of months, I would get to meet her new boyfriend whom I have heard so much about and I would get to catch up with her family who generally I get along with really well. I don't think that either of us had really counted on the emotional baggage that we were both bringing to the trip this time. I had thought that I was dealing with my breakup really well when it turns out that i was just avoiding the issues and it all came crashing down on me when I got up here. She is dealing with her parents break-up and the feeling that she has lost her whole family now that her Dad has gone. Neither of us had realised the amount of emotional support that we were going to need from each other, and the first two days involved the two of us trying to work out how to get back into the groove that we have always had so effortlessly before. I guess that I felt like when I got up here my support network was suddenly gone - the support network that has been doing such a good job supporting me that I have been able to really avoid dealing with my break-up issues. I felt like I just wanted to crawl back into my unit in Melbourne, even if it was by myself so that I was back where I felt safe and where there were enough distractions to stop me from thinking so much. In some ways the honesty of my relationship with my qld friend meant that I knew that I would not be able to avoid the things that were bothering me because she is so insightful that she practically reads my mind. I tried to work out some way to escape, including trying to organise a ridiculous spontaneous road-trip, but as best friends do, she saw right through me and pulled me up on my avoidance tactics.
One of the things that I found so difficult when I got here was the different atmosphere in the house with my best friends father gone. Whereas the house used to be fun and happy, I walked in to an oppressive situation where my best friend is treated almost like a modern-day Cinderella; biting her tongue whilst the others gang up on her and expect the world from her. I had no idea of the awful situation that she was dealing with because often all of her issues are dealt with internally and she rarely asks for help and support. I guess that neither of us actually realised that we needed support until we were looking at each other and trying to work out what the hell the other one was thinking.
I will conclude by saying that despite the fact that I initially felt like I wanted to run away screaming from this holiday, it was never because I didn’t want to spend time with my best friend, rather because I did not know how to deal with the issues that suddenly hit me, or her issues, which seemed so much worse than mine. But in the way that we always have, we both found a way to get through to the other and to be there for each other. She has helped me to see what I was doing to try and avoid my issues at home, and helped me with ideas on how to deal with the things in my life that I need to reflect on. Whilst I haven’t been able to offer her any solutions to her problems, I have tried to give her the support she needs, and hopefully have eased her burden a little bit. The best thing that this holiday has given me is the reassurance of something I already knew; that despite the fact that we live hundreds of kilometres away from each other, we will always find a way to be there for each other when it matters most.
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