A few things that have happened lately have prompted me to ask this question. I feel this year that the dynamic of my workplace relationships have changed somewhat. One of my best friends at school has moved to another school, and I think I am finding it quite a different experience without him. Not that I saw him much during the school day, but there was always opportunity for chats and laughs after school and a often much-needed de-brief.
This year also marks the return of my best buddy in the state to school after her 6 months off last year to travel so I have almost traded one best mate for another at school. Our relationship is uncomplicated and one of total trust so it is good to have her back.
Another thing that has changed is the influx of new graduate staff members. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. A good thing because it is great to have new young teachers and more fresh minds and enthusiasm, but a bad thing because the social circle that we are so used to has increased dramatically. I think that this will cease to be a problem when we all know each other better and this will only happen with time.
Perhaps the biggest issue I am facing at the moment is mixing the personal with the professional, because it is becoming an increasingly blurry line. I often go out with other teachers from my work on the weekends. I count some of my fellow teachers amongst my best friends but there are issues with this. I told one of my friends something in confidence because sharing details about my personal life with my friends at school has caused problems for me before. He happened to mention it in front of some other people (in a way that was meant to be him and I sharing a private joke) but it meant that people started catching on to what he was saying. Team this with another male friend who happened to come over on the weekend to be told the same personal information by my sister, and the news was out. The two of them made comments in front of other staff members when no one was supposed to know at all.
It all ended with another friend being upset because I didn't tell her what was going on, when in fact I told only one person (and only in confidence). Thus illustrates the problem with having friends at work.
The question I pose then is this: in spite of my newly found honesty about myself and my life, do I need to be a separate person at work to the one I am in private? And if some of my friends at work are also friends in private, then how do I reconcile the two to ensure that the things that should remain private do? Like the different person I am in the classroom compared to the staff common room, do I need also to be a different person in the common room to the one that I am outside of it?
Don't get me wrong. I certainly have my professional persona. I do act professionally at school and am able to separate out the private me from the school me, except when the people that know both me's' constantly blur those lines. Its seems that despite my best attempts to keep the professional professional, the private just keeps getting in the way. It seems that the only solution to the problem is to never socialise with people from work, which is a break that at this stage I am not willing to make. Maybe one day...
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