I am at an interesting stage in my career. I feel like I just want to push on to new and bigger and better ventures and test myself and push myself in new positions with new challenges. I fear however, that I am missing the little things, the details and perhaps the reasons I am here in this profession in the first place. Perhaps in the pursuit of new endeavours and new horizons I have forgotten what my primary focus should be and that is on first and foremost being the best teacher I can be in the classroom. Sometimes I feel like I don't have time or energy to plan properly. When time and energy is also being taken elsewhere with other programs and other ideas, it is sometimes my classes that get left behind. That is not to say that I think that I am an awful teacher. I think generally I have a good rapport with my students, we have fun and we also learn together, but I feel that I am not innovative enough in my own classroom. I research and plan and speculate when it comes to programs on a whole school scale, but then I fear that I am not doing anything particularly exciting at all in my classrooms. When did I stop focussing on the classroom and start being an administrator. Not that there is anything wrong with admin - in fact that is where I want to be but at the moment I can't forget about the classroom. I need to remember that I have so much more to learn and stop trying to have everything yesterday. I need to relish the little moments and the little victories and have this be enough for me. I need to stop trying to conquer the world before I'm 30. I need to work on what I can achieve and realise that I can not do everything - at work or at home.

I think sometimes you get to this part of the year and you think about all of the things that you would have done differently if you had the chance but you dont have that chance. The same 150 kids come into the same classes each day and the systems that you set up at the beginning of the year and have positively or negatively reinforced remain. At the moment I just need to take some time to stretch my head above water and realise what I can still do and how I am going to do it. I need to refocus on the remainder of the year and what I am going to do differently. Then I just need to do it.