Apparently this is my 101st Blog at this site - it has only taken me 6 years to get there! I often feel like I get lost. Not that I lose my way really, but that I have an incredible ability to block out anything that I don't want to or have time to deal with. I can be focused on the next task at hand to the detriment of the whole picture sometimes. It happened in my first long term relationship- I blocked out the fact that I no longer wanted to be in the relationship in favour of addressing only the things in my life that were easy to deal with. I learnt the hard way then that that was not something that is sustainable. No matter what you decide to block out, inevitably it is still there when you come back to it- and may, in fact, have become worse.
At the moment I feel like I have dropped a few balls. Work for me is hectic but fantastic and I am focussing a lot of my energy on getting the job done. I come home at night, after 10 or 11 hours out of the house and I am tired and just want to sit on the couch like a vegetable. This bothers me though. It seems sometimes like I am living to work and not working to live and there needs to be more balance. A lot of the time I can't be bothered cooking dinner let alone preparing a packed lunch for school the next day and as a result we have been eating badly. I have put on over 5 kilos since the wedding a year ago and I really don't like it. I need to somehow find a balance between work and health and 'me' time because it is only going to get worse if I don't do something about it now.
I am trying to get back on track. I have organised to go swimming one night after work with a workmate. Another two nights a week I am supposed to go walking with another one of my colleagues. So it is just the diet really. I sat down, on this, the first day of my holidays, and planned out what I will eat for lunches and for snacks because these have been my biggest issue. I have made a shopping list and am currently trying to work up the motivation to get off the couch and go out and purchase said goods. I want to make the holidays my kick-start to a healthier lifestyle rather than a eat-fest which is what it can be if I don't watch it.
I also think that professionally I need to make this year at work about more than just surviving. I am already looking around for the next challenge but I think I really need to make sure that I am doing everything at work to the best of my ability before I start piling more work on myself. I have been thinking about doing a masters next year, partly just to give myself some concerted time to think and reflect on what I am doing and how I can improve. I seem to never make enough time for that these days. Maybe this blog is part of the answer. I will be having a chat these holidays with my boss about what he thinks I should do in terms of post-grad study and am doing some soul-searching myself about what is motivating me and what I want to get out of the next few years. I want to stop letting life pass me by and make some concerted decisions about where to next.
2 comments:
I just found your blog, I was interested in your open plan teaching as Ihave just left a school where we piloted open plan for 100 Year 6's.
What struck me with your comments this time round, was the fact that you are trying to find a balance to your life. I have been teaching for some 25 years now...and it doesn't get any easier, wait till the kids come along (assuming you haven't any yet)....you just have to learn that when you give 110% all the time...you just have to draw the line...tell yourself you are doing the best you can do and that will just have to do. Learning to prioritise becomes one of your greatest skills. I still love what I do although I tell myself daily that I wish my teaching could take me in another direction. However, it seems once a teacher, always a teacher. Good luck! Be careful not to burn out...it's a real possibility.
hi, just found your post interesting. I'm new to teaching and am still studying my grad dip at USQ.. but this is one of the things that scares me a lot! I am already quite time-poor a lot of the time as am a single mother to 3 young children.. so wondering how on earth I will manage to teach with long hours as well!
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