This year for me so far has been filled with difficult moments. Despite the most obvious difficulty, I have also been dealing with problems at work that I did not come across last year. Was last year some honeymoon period where I was kept in the dark and fed crap? Or am I just a little more wary this year? Has something changed in my work environment that is affecting changes on my sense of enjoyment this year?
Last year was a totally positive experience. I am not saying that I did not go through the problems of planning, classroom management, correction, meetings and all of the other million-and-one things that are all new in your first year, however, I just feel like last year was somehow easier than this year, like I enjoyed it more. I feel like everyone was happier last year – this year there is more whingeing and less satisfaction in general. At the moment I am grappling with why.
It seems that because I am no longer a first year teacher, I am no longer getting the support and encouragement that I was afforded last year from the Principal class. It seems like last year I spent heaps of time with one of the AP’s who encouraged me and gave me the positive feedback that reassured me that I was doing a good job. This year, despite having a considerably heavier workload, I am not getting any of the encouragement or feedback that might give me some indication of how I am going, or at least how the school admin perceives me to be going.
But there may be any number of reasons for this lack of support. Perhaps the school feels that I have ‘been there and done that’ and that I don’t need the sort of support that I had last year. Perhaps the focus has shifted to the new first year teachers and there is no more time for me. Perhaps the reason is that the AP who I spent a lot of time with lost a good friend (one of our colleagues) to cancer only a couple of months ago and is still not back to being herself. Or maybe she is feeling more pressure this year due to changes in the AP positions. Maybe the school environment has changed. Maybe it is busier. There seem to be more interruptions. There are curriculum changes and new building programs and funding for learning centres that are adding pressure to people’s roles. Certainly I am hearing more complaining and it is getting me down.
Or maybe the person who has changed is me. Maybe I am so busy that I am burying my head in the proverbial sand trying to get on with my work and avoid dealing with unnecessary drivel. Maybe the other stuff that is going on in my life at the moment is taking up a lot of my energy and this is the reason why I often feel flat this year. Maybe I am not talking as much as I did and sharing my thoughts and seeking out support and that is why I feel unsupported.
I think that the question remains though. When has a teacher been teaching long enough to not need support? Does the system only support beginning teachers through their first year? When something like 40% of new teachers do not even make it through their first 5 years of teaching, (does anyone have actual stats on this stuff
‘cause I would be interested to know) does something in the system need to change to stop young teachers from feeling like they have been left to fend for themselves in a sometimes hostile environment?
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