Lately I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself. In every way. Pressure at work to be involved in as much as I possibly can be. Pressure at home to save for the wedding with a ridiculous budget that takes most of the fun out of living. Pressure to work out whether we should go overseas for our honeymoon or put that money towards a home so we can get into the property market sooner (in the hope that we can actually afford something more than a one bedroom hovel somewhere). Sometimes when I really think about the future and about where I want to be the future seems pretty bleak. That is the way it is for people of my generation. We are faced with soaring house prices, hecs debts and years of study, meeting our partners later in life and it seems the same rules that applied for our parents just don't anymore. I know I need to focus on the positives and I know that once we actually buy something, things will seem a whole lot brighter but at the moment it seems like time is ticking away and we are going nowhere. We are renting from my partner's mother which should be cheaper but works out to be almost as expensive as living somewhere else because of the extra bills and petrol that comes with living so far from work. And until his mum's new house is complete, we are also sharing a rather small house with my partner's cousin, something which I find difficult because I enjoy my own space. I guess sometimes I struggle with control. It seems at the moment like I am not in control of where I am heading and I don't like this feeling at all.
The truth of the situation though is that I am in control. I am the one that is putting pressure on myself to control things that I cannot control and that I should just move on from. I am the one that is wanting everything yesterday. It is hard when you have found the person that you want to be with to be patient while you set up your lives together. I want everything yesterday - the wedding, the house, the family and it seems that something has to give. I don't want to give up on my dreams but perhaps I need to work out what I really value and then prioritise. Perhaps the european trip may need to be put on the back-burner until we have achieved some of our other goals. Whatever the answer I think I need to let go a bit. Stop trying to control the things I can't and stop trying to plan out my entire future. Easier said than done...
2 comments:
Darcemond - do what you want, not what you think people think you should do..it's your life and you're the only person who gets to look back on it at some point. So make sure that when you do reach that moment, you are looking back and thinking 'I wouldn't have changed a thing. I did everything that I wanted, the way I wanted'.
Coz even if people have opinions about what you should/shouldn't do now, they are only imposing their own ideas about what they would do - they won't be evaluating and judging your life decisions when they're looking back on their lives, they will be too ficused on themselves!
Do whatever it is that will make you happy. Then you will never have regrets.
Hey Darce, it's been ages, clearly, coz last time I checked in you were on the rebound and now you are engaged! Congrats! Fill me in! As a wise married woman (of one year next week- he he!) can I remind you to enjoy the wedding planning and honeymoon process. Hubby and I wanted to honeymoon O/S but it didn't work out and will be going in Dec-Jan this year. So things do work out. As for Real Estate, move to the Peninsula! We bought a three bedroom home in Dromana for $272k in Jan and haven't looked back... but that's a long journey for you to work each day. I don't think I've been that helpful, but I do think you are awesome and clever and so all will work out for the very best. You just might have to wait at times... M x
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